I’ve been contemplating how my life reflects the true character of God.

So often who He is can get distorted when we exert too much of our own personality into our presentation of Him. Our ideas of who God is tends to be influenced by our life experiences. If we were nurtured as children, we see God as a loving Father. If our upbringing was less nurturing, we tend to see Him as critical and demanding of perfection.

The best way to share the true nature of God is to first spend time sitting quietly at his feet — drinking in His character through His word. If we make time to really get to know Him from His very own mouth, then our testimony of who He is and what He has done will be alluring to others. They will desire to hear more about Him. Then our opportunities to share Him become times of nurturing growth in others.

Pay attention, heavens, and I will speak; listen earth, to the words of my mouth. Let my teaching fall like rain and my word settle like dew, like gentle rain on new grass and showers on tender plants. For I will proclaim the Lord’s name. Declare the greatness of our God! ~Deuteronomy 32:1-3 (HCSB)

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“Grace is Christianity’s best gift to the world, a spiritual nova in our midst exerting a force stronger than vengeance, stronger than racism, stronger than hate. Sadly, to a world desperate for this grace the church sometimes presents one more form of ungrace.”~What’s So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey

Grace

It is a most beautiful word! In its most simple form it means favor or good will. The theological definition goes a bit deeper: “the freely given and unmerited favor and love of God.” (dictionary.com)

As non-Christians seeking God, the idea of His grace blows us away. “How can this perfect, holy God give me, a desperate failure with no hope, His love and favor…His grace without requiring me to become perfect and holy as He is?”

We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us by selfless sacrifice. But God put His love on the line for us by offering His Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to Him. ~Romans 5:7-8 MSG

When we give up on trying to reason this grace thing through, and decide to accept it without understanding it, we respond by falling on our faces before Him in absolute gratitude, the full beauty of His offer changing our lives. From that point on, we strive (or should be striving) to grow into the person we were created to be.

Along the way, sometimes we get caught up in the trappings of religion. After all the struggles to get over ourselves and accept God’s grace in our own lives, we become “church-y.”

Suddenly our perception of others becomes divided into only two views: saints (the haves) and sinners (the have nots). My beloved friends, we must be very cautious with this stage of our Christian lives.

In its purest form, this view should develop a love for those who are still in the place from which God’s love saved us. Our very souls should cry out asking God to share His grace with them. Our hearts should be crushed if they turn away from His message.

Unfortunately, in becoming religious, rather than understanding His grace, we may instead become like the Pharisee: “Oh, God, I thank you that I am not like other people–robbers, crooks, adulterers, or, heaven forbid, like this tax man.” ~Luke 18:11

We must hold tight to the image of ourselves before His grace bathed us in His light and love: “Meanwhile the tax man, slumped in the shadows, his face in his hands, not daring to look up, said, ‘God, give mercy. Forgive me, a sinner.” ~Luke 18:13

It is true there are only two types of people: the saved and the unsaved. The saved have the promise of Heaven and eternal fellowship with God. The unsaved do not, only a dark future eternally separated from God, the giver of light and grace. If that image does not shock us into reaching out to others no matter their appearance, circumstance, race, or address, perhaps it is time to question our understanding of grace .

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. ~1 John 3:18-19 MSG

In this week before Christianity’s greatest celebration, the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, let us dwell upon its true meaning for us and rely on it to equip our hearts with grace for others:

For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him. ~John 3:16-17 NLT

Father, more than anything I ask you to break my heart for those separated from You. Stab my soul with the searing fire of guilt if I demonstrate ungrace to anyone. Renew Your love and grace for others in my life…help me share the joy of the Resurrection and promise of life eternal in Your presence. Humbly I ask these things in the name of Your One and Only Son, Jesus Christ…the Lover of my Soul.

And how do I get there?

If you don’t change the direction you are going, then you are likely to end up where you are headed.

~John Maxwell

There comes a time in everyone’s life when she asks, “Is this all there is? Is this all my life is going to be?” Some of us bump into that question often on our pathways.

My particular struggle to answer these questions tends to come in anticipation of, or following, major changes in my life that are outside my control. I have finally come to a point where I ask myself three more questions so that I get a sense of regaining some control:

1. Is this all I want?
2. What steps am I taking to ensure there is more to my life?
3. What, precisely, do I mean by more?

To answer these three questions, I must consider my contentment level:

1. How much discontent will it take to make me want to change?
   [Have I...learned to be content whatever the circumstances? Philippians 4:11 NIV]
2. I must come to a place where discontentment meets motivation.
   [Will I...press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me? Philippians 3:14 NIV]

That place in the crossroads should push me to identify the specifics of my contentment level by considering what I want or need to change. Each step in the identification of my wants should direct a deliberate step towards action.

1. If I want my life to mean more to others, I must find ways to serve them.
2. If I want my life to be richer in grace, I must diligently seek the Source of grace.
3. If I want to feel more appreciated in my life, I must call my blessings by name and therefore learn to appreciate the gifts I have already been given.

Growth is a gradual journey that doesn’t end in a particular destination, but just pauses at scenic overlooks, enjoys the views, and gains refreshment before checking the directions and continuing on.

That last part has an important codicil…I must be following the correct Map that gets me to the place I was meant to be so I can become the person I was created to be.

This is what the Lord says – your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17 NIV

Nina at Mama’s Little Treasures is hosting In Other Words today.

“Won’t the awareness God loves us no matter what lead to spiritual laziness and moral laxity? Theoretically, this seems a reasonable fear, but in reality the opposite is true…the more rooted we are in the love of God, the more generously we will live our faith.” ~Brennan Manning, Lion and Lamb

When love is new, all of life seems exciting and sparkling. This is true in relationships both human and divine. And with the divine, we feel bathed in glorious light once we come to the realization of this truth:

“This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.” 1 John 4:9-10 (MSG)

If that truth is understood, it reveals to the believer (receiver) the depth of a love so profound that it cannot birth spiritual laziness or moral laxity. It births gratitude and a security that allows our focus to reach outward from ourselves. No longer should we be looking internally, but we now can look to the needs of others. If we truly believe that

“God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17 (NIV)

then our response will be to share the love we’ve been freely given. Sometimes love comes in the form of words, but often it must first come from us in the form of actions. This time of the year, perhaps more than any other time, God’s love should be gushing forth to the world. We have much to be thankful for… if we have food, clothing, and shelter we should look around and find others who may not.

How difficult is it to make just a little extra food and take it to a family struggling with the downturn in the economy? Is it really too much trouble to spend a few extra minutes in conversation with an elderly person who lives alone? Will it hurt to give an extra dollar to a pan handler in tattered clothing?

In our generosity, our responsibility extends only to the act of sharing. What comes next is in God’s hands. If we focus on our gratitude for our restored relationship to our Creator through the sacrifice of our Redeemer and trust in the leading of our Comforter, we will reach the unreachable with a message that is more than empty platitudes. We will speak in a voice too loud to be misunderstood when we say to the world, “God loves you!”

“People conceived and brought into life by God don’t make a practice of sin. How could they? God’s seed is deep within them, making them who they are. It’s not in the nature of the God-begotten to practice and parade sin. Here’s how you tell the difference between God’s children and the Devil’s children: The one who won’t practice righteous ways isn’t from God, nor is the one who won’t love brother or sister. A simple test. For this is the original message we heard: We should love each other.” 1 John 3:9-11

“My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.” 1 John 3:18-24 (MSG)

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“One quality of a godly friend is helping others to reach their goals and to get to where they need to be. No we can’t walk on water, calm the storms in our friends lives, or land their boat where they want to go. But we can point them to the Friend who sticks closer than a Brother.” ~Sharon Jaynes, A Woman’s Secret to a Balanced Life: Finding God’s Refreshing Priorities for You

Growing up I always had close girlfriends. Even into adulthood, with my father’s military career and also my husband’s, I cultivated close friendships with other women. Then came parenthood. Time became a precious commodity, moving became increasingly stressful, and friendships outside my little family circle seemed more effort than I wanted to expend.

There is a give-and-take among adult friends that can be taxing or relaxing. Figuring out how to balance those relationships can be a dance to which some of us have forgotten the steps. My children are now grown. My baby boy moved out last summer when he joined the US Marine Corps. His marriage last November after boot camp all but assured his move will be permanent. My daughters have been more or less independent for a couple of years. With my oldest daughter’s little boy now in kindergarten and only requiring after school care, my time is suddenly freer.

And I am alone. A lot.

But a miracle occurred a few years ago. My sister and I discovered each other again. We suffered a shared trauma as young children that all but severed the thin ties of friendship throughout our growing up years. We each had memories to work through and issues to work out in our own lives before we were able to see each other as the strong women that we are. Now nearly every weekday around 10 a.m. my phone rings. My sister calls me so we can share our coffee time together. Sometimes our conversations last more than an hour. Sometimes we talk several times a day. While she lives 7 hours away, we have been able to fill in the gaps by talking and laughing over the phone so that our face time is rich and rewarding.

My daughters and I have always been close. Yes, there were years of discord while they were finding their independent selves and I was stumbling around trying to learn how to shake off my control issues.  Now we make efforts to get together for girl time. Sometimes all three of us meet up, sometimes I get with them individually. This Thursday, I have a shopping/wedding planning day set up with my oldest daughter as we get the details ready for her wedding in December. All though shopping is one of my least favorite past times, the lure of the hunt for just the perfect items to give her a dream wedding and be fiscally responsible has overcome my reluctance to go store to store. My role will be to ease the stress she feels as time closes in toward her special date. I like that role.  It is such a rewarding part of parenthood. And there is nothing more precious than to have daughters as friends.

I am just now getting an urge to reach outside my family circle to find new girlfriends. It will be slow going for me because I still have to find time to spend with my mother and mother-in-law outside of doctors visits or church services. As a writer in the middle of writing my first novel, I tend to get selfish with my daytime hours. I know I was gifted to write and that I am responsible to exercise that gift. I haven’t yet mastered the art of directed focus so I can maximize bites of time and still leave room to give of myself to those special ladies.

The new blessing in developing my writing gift is the group of writers I meet with monthly and my critique group I meet with every week or two. We all have full lives outside our writing, but the interaction in our brief get-togethers leaves me wanting to stretch out the time and really get to know them one-on-one. It is through these meetings that I have been able to come outside my fairly insular life and experience the kind of friendships that we all had as children. New people, different backgrounds, finding a common interest and enjoying each other while pursuing it.

I believe this is what God wants of me right now: to make the most of the encounters I have with the people He has placed in my life. Hopefully I can point a light in dark corners when they need it and welcome the light they point when I need it. Such is the postmodern life… Being social creatures with any sort of depth requires inner resolve to make ourselves open to others. Step by dragging step, I think I’m getting there.